JW The Facts
by Jay Winchester
Summary: John Winchester…The Man, The Father, The Myth… and maybe a little bit more? God Knows winks If you liked him… then read… Pure crack fic / Funny facts… NEW SPECIAL CHAP! Read and Review
1. JWF C1

Hi after a long pause I decided to write again…But I didn't want to write about apocalypse;

Dean X Sam or Demon War…So here is a little something to light the air while we watch our lovely boys fight evil.

**Disclaimer:** Don't own them…Don't sue me!

I'm here just to play and have fun (*grins*)

I always thought that JW was an underestimated character. I loved him and truly believe that despite his drill sergeant appearance he loved his sons (both of them) more than anything. So if you like me just love Supernatural and want to see more of this crazy idea drop me a line.

* * *

JWF 1:

Cloverfield decided to attack NY after it discovered that JW was dead.

Sadly to the monster that was not a big deal for John.

JWF 2:

If Chuck Norris Hunted, He would be called John Winchester.

JWF 3:

Actually John just walked through Hell's Gate cause Azazel said: "You Wouldn't Dare…"

JWF 4:

When you asked John why he owned a Monster Truck and passed the Impala to Dean…

He said…The trunk was too small for MY arsenal.

JWF 5:

John Winchester doesn't sweat; He expels bad fluids from his body.

JWF 6:

John Winchester doesn't eat; He ingests nutrients.

JWF 7:

John Winchester came back in time and killed millions of demons once; they called it the Black Plague.

JWF 8:

John Winchester had kids to prolong his species.

JWF 9:

When you asked John about his drill sergeant trains sessions from his sons…

He said…What trains?

JWF 10:

JW doesn't need Latin chants to exorcise demons. All he needs is a cross eyed look and the smokes come…

* * *

If you want to see your own facts here give me a review.

(*puppy dogs eyes*)


	2. JWF C2

Hey… Here I'm again! Long time no writing!

I have been crazy with work lately…

Here are more facts about our lovely Super Father! That we all know and love…

Some of them you might not know, but don't be afraid here you will know everything about JW! (*Silly Grin*)

Don't be shy…I know that you're dying to know more about JW…

And don't forget to send me a review…they are like cookies! (*master of puppy dog eyes*)

**Disclaimer:** Don't own them…Don't sue me!

* * *

JWF 11:

John Winchester hunted so many demons on Earth that when He felt tired …

He decided to go to Hell to hunt them on their own place.

JWF 12:

When John Winchester is bored … He likes to count numbers…

He already counted till infinite …

Twice!

JWF 13:

And to not lose his count, He likes to remember each demon, bad spirit and nasty creature he ever hunted, when he finishes there is a couple of them left.

JWF 14:

If 24 was protagonized by John Winchester it will be called 5 minutes.

JWF 15:

If JW was the star of 24 he would use his time like this:

10 hours fighting with Sammy

13 hours barking orders to Dean

½ hours hunting demons

25 minutes cleaning his guns

5 minutes to stop all the terrorists

JWF 15:

John made the Devil itself dress like a cheerleader and walk through the Times Square… Twice!

JWF 16:

Demos possessed people… JW possesses demons.

JWF 17:

Demons don't believe that 13 is an unlucky number, but they do hate the numbers 38 and 45.

There is no luck for them if they stumble on JW with a 38 special or a 45 long colt.

JWF 18:

JW doesn't fear the Dark. The Dark fears John Winchester.

JWF 19:

John Winchester hunted the black smoke on Lost, and killed it.

JWF 20:

Actually JW didn't escape Hell. He killed so many demons that they let him out.

* * *

Hope that this silly piece of writing made you laugh…even for a second…

Try to imagine all this absurd situations…If you don't even grin…Then I'll drop dead…so please…

Smile… and send me a review…or this author will hunt you down.


	3. JWF C3

I would like to say a few words to: **clair beaubien** (you should make the *first reviewer dance*) - Thank You!

And of course for: **I'mcalledZorro****...** Thank you both for your lovely reviews!

You guys Rock! \o/ Yeeeeey

Hope you liked this new chapter...

**Disclaimer:** Don't own them…Don't sue me!

* * *

JWF 21:

Besides wanting Dean alive, JW made the pact whit the YED because he was bored and wanted a more dangerous adventure.

JWF 22:

John Winchester makes deals with the demons... After 10 years… He comes to collect them.

JWF 23:

John Winchester decide that won't be necessary a number 24. This number doesn't suit him.

JWF 25:

Hell's gate wasn't open from the outside. JW broke it from the inside.

JWF 26:

Shapeshifters can't copy John Winchester. After all you can't copy God.

JWF 27:

John Winchester proved that there isn't a Devil, well... not anymore!

JFW 28:

John Winchester was the first Jedi.

JFW 29:

They say that Chuck Norris can count till infinite … Ask who taught him.

Your answer? JW.

JWF 30:

John Winchester doesn't fear the Reaper.

JWF 31:

Saint of Killers (comic book) survived an atomic bomb, but he couldn't survive John Winchester.

JWF 32:

John Winchester made MacGyver from a wood stick and a paper clip.

JWF 33:

After going downstairs JW change the name Hell to Playground.

JWF 34:

Once upon a time, Samara Morgan saw a videotape about John.

In the end she received a phone call, was Mr. Winchester saying: Seven Seconds, Bitch!

JWF 35:

One time JW made a credit card scam so good, that a group of Casinos in Vegas blamed a man called Danny Ocean and more 10 guys…nobody ever found out.

JWF 36:

One day Hollywood asked (nicely) that John made up 2 little characters for an action movie, at that very moment he took the paper and invented Rambo and The Terminator … actually he had a little time left so he wrote 4 stories to a guy named Indiana Jones.

JWF 37:

John Constantine was a character based on John in kid garden; they just change the last name.

JWF 38:

If Orkut / Facebook worked for JW, you wouldn't banish people from communities; you would exorcize and then shot them with the Colt.

JWF 39:

Fred Kruger terrorizes people dreams. JW terrorize Fred's Kruger dreams.

JWF 40:

Fred Kruger and John made a bet. Who killed more, would be trapped inside dreamland forever. Guess who won?

* * *

This is very fun to write... I hope you have a good time reading as well...

Till Next time... Take Care...

This writer support the Commission Give Reviews and Make Someones Day! (* O.o *)

I'm lonely... JW is not a very cuddling guy...I need you support... Please feed the Muse...


	4. JWF C4

Wait...wait a little more...

Huge Thanks to: **I'mcalledZorro**.... I had a little trouble updating the chapter but now MacGyver can rest in peace. If you look in the JWF 32 everything is fine for now!

Thanks to You! I'm so glad that there are people reading this...and actually paying attetion. Sorry for my mystakes, they are all mine.

Let's just forget this episode. LOL

Thanks to **Carlough** as well... That was definitively my inspiration, but I do try not to copy those T - shirts and made up my own craziness! But that's just me! (*crazy laugh*)

**Disclaimer:** Don't own them…Don't sue me!

* * *

JWF 41:

John doesn't need Latin to exorcise demons. He looks at them and says: Ask to leave.

JWF 42:

Supernatural producers wanted to have Jason Vorhees as a special guest star on episode 10 from season 3, but when they went to look for him, they just found a big knife with:

"JW was here."

JWF 43:

If you listen very carefully, when the Hell's Gate is open you can hear the demons talking:

- Run, Run for you lives ... Run before John finishes counting.

JWF 45:

One time John sweated inside a bottle. That's how he started making Holly Water.

JWF 46:

If God and The Devil made a bet, JW would win.

JWF 47:

If you ever encounter John with a 45, don't move. Okay. Too late.

JWF 48:

Once John decided to put 1/900 of his thoughts on a website, That's how Google was created.

JWF 49:

John Winchester threw a rock in the sky, it hit a planet out of the Solar System, and that's how Kripton was destroyed.

JWF 50:

JW made a bet with the Green Arrow. Who lost would have to wear green for the rest of his life. Guess who lost?

JFW 51:

They say that Chuck Norris was JW's teacher, but this is plain wrong.

The truth is that one day in high school John was bored so he looked at Chuck and told him:

- Answer my test or you die.

JWF 52:

John decided to put all the blood from demons he killed on a hole.

5 minutes later. He had the Red Sea.

JWF 53:

John had to leave Supernatural because the show was supposed to last at least 40 minutes, not 5.

JWF 54:

John leave Hell walking. The demons leave running from their lives, they were too scared of JW.

JWF 55:

JW taught Jimmy Hendrix how to play guitar.

JWF 56:

The Trickster was able to escape the Winchesters twice, because John wasn't there.

JFW 57:

One day John decided to let a demon possess him, just to see what holly water would do to him.

The result you can only guess.

JWF 58:

One time John was at the beach with his sons, trying to relax.

He stepped in the ocean and the he created a Tsunami.

JWF 59:

Dean and Sam didn't open the Hell's Gate. John was finished doing whatever he was doing there and decided to go for a walk.

JWF 60:

Jack Bauer was crying in the end of season 3, because he spotted JW coming with a 45.

JWF 61:

House says that he had thigh muscle infarction on his leg, but the truth is that John made him trip.

JWF 62:

The little boy from The Grudge only screams when he sees John Winchester.

JWF 63:

Clark is the Superman, and the Superman is JW.

JWF 64:

The Justice League is actually a try to see if people (with super powers) could overcome JW.

JWF 65:

JW tried to give Dean and Sammy a dog, but he couldn't find a dog as good as Cerberus.

JWF 66:

In the beginning everything was Dark. And then John warned:

- You have 1 second.

And God said:

- Let there be light.

JWF 67:

There is a legend about the YED that says that one time he tried to make John went to hell so they could have a JW barbecue. The Devil well aware of this situation made a barbecue of the YED to serve John Winchester, his guest of honor.

JWF 68:

John didn't run away from Hell, Lucifer opened the door and said: After you, please.

JWF 69:

Chuck Norris won a RPG contest using the special card: "JW was here."

JWF 70:

House MD thinks he is GOD. John Winchester IS.

* * *

Hope that you all liked this chapter! So far I've made a few religious jokes, but they are just jokes! Hope that anyone find them offending!

They are just silliness that pop out in my head and I've to write them down or John said he is going to leave his vacation and beat the crap out of me!

I'm just a silly, scared to hell little writer, with too much time in my hands!

Oh I'm hearing knocks on my door! OMFG

It's JW, he is here! Why does he have a 38.?

He is going to kill me! Help Me! I'm not proud to beg but give me a review so I can show him!

If I didn't not make it, it was very nice to be here for a while! Till next time! Be Careful ... Have Fun ... And remember don't piss off JW he may be watching you!

(*jumps away from the computer and runs for one's life*)


	5. JWF C5

As usual time to thanks everyone who is supporting this story!

First **atrum infractus**: I didn't thank you on chap 4, it was already written when I received your review, but I make emends now! Thank you very much!

**I'mcalledZorro**: OMG! I loved to know that your little sister enjoyed that fact!

It's a pleasure to make you both laugh!

Hope you find this update as good as the last one!

**V.R. Jennings****: **Thanks for your review! Here is the next chapter! Hope you liked and I love writing facts about my favorites TV Shows, but unfortunately I don't watch Psysch or Reaper, I could made something up, but won't be as good as the ones that I truly watched…So feel free to create your own facts and send me I will be more than happy to post them! (*hint hint*)

Last but not least**atrum infractus****:** thanks for your second review! You took the time to review me twice so I should thank you twice as well!

So I come up with these facts because I truly have a lot of free time on my hands! No good let me near a computer with so much time! The web is not a safe territory to my over imaginative mind!

This all done! I won't keep blabbing! Here is another chapter! Hope you liked!

**Disclaimer:** Don't own them…Don't sue me!

* * *

JWF 71:

John Winchester doesn't sleep. He explodes atomic bombs on himself to relax.

JWF 72:

JW just gave the Colt to Azazel because he cried, a lot, and John can't stand a man crying.

JWF 73:

The dinosaurs didn't die because a meteor, JW needed to practice on hunting demons.

JWF 74:

CROATAN is an American native word that means: RUN JW IS PISSED.

JWF 75:

John overcomes Chuck Norris in absolutely everything, but he doesn't like to brag about it, after all Chuckie needs something to feel good.

JWF 76:

When John goes to a blood bank, he asks:

- Human, Demon, Werewolf or others?

JWF 77:

They say that an atomic explosion is unbelievable, like mass destruction.

Imagine a JW explosion. "Adios All".

JWF 78:

One person can use 2%~4% of his brain capacity. John Winchester uses 101%.

JWF 79:

John Winchester wrote all the encyclopedias in the world. He wrote it from the scratch.

JWF 80:

The legend is that Jacob, the black smoke monster is just hiding in some Lost island because John was on the flight 815, but he already left the island using his hair and 2 sea turtles.

JWF 81:

The truth is that all the clients at McNamara / Troy were deformed by the hands of JW.

And all the women that Christian had in 20 years, John had in an hour.

JWF 82:

The real name of Hanky Moody's book was: "John hates us all", but was so violent that he changed to: "God hates us all".

JWF 83:

Mulder and Scully received a call about a city where all the people who acted weird were dead. They found signs of sulfhur and a note: JW was here.

Mulder can't stop crying every time he thinks about it.

JWF 84:

John Winchester owns the Central Perk.

JWF 85:

_Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica, in nomine et virtute Domini Nostri Jesu Christi, eradicare et effugare a Dei Ecclesia, ab animabus ad imaginem Dei conditis ac pretioso divini Agni sanguine redemptis._ Is Latin and means:

- Run Demon John Winchester is coming.

JWF 86:

One time jack Bauer disarmed a nuclear bomb with Chloe's help. She on the other hand had John's help.

JWF 87:

John W. colonized Clark Kent's planet.

JWF 88:

House tried to graduate from Medical School helping JW, but he failed so he settled at Princeton Plainsboro.

JWF 89:

John Winchester is Yoda's father.

JWF 90:

Piece of dialogue between JW and JB (Jack Bauer)

JB: You have 24 hours. Can you do it?

JW comes back **2 seconds** later.

JB: ... You didn't go?

JW: Sorry I had to stop and eat something.

JWF 91:

When a mortal goes to Hell he runs petrified. When John W. goes to Hell he gives The Devil a hug.

JWF 92:

They say that Chuck Norris sold his soul for his looks. JW was born with his.

JWF 93:

There are more things in heaven and earth, than are dreamt of in our philosophy. Shakespeare said after his encounter with JW.

JWF 94:

Apocalypse: Heaven X Hell. Results: John Winchester Wins!

JWF 95:

The exorcisms on The Exorcist (movie) never worked because none of them were performed by JW.

JWF 96:

The dinosaurs were extinguished because they disobeyed John W, one time and one time only.

* * *

Hi everyone, you must be wondering where I was, but after my little encounter with Mr. JW I had to stop and made a visit to the hospital...You see, it's not a good thing to piss of Papa Winchester!

He didn't like the speed of my postings and that I didn't have another chapter already done so now I have 2 just waiting to be update!

LOL! Jokes around I'm not proud to beg, but thanks for you kind reviews!

It's so awesome to open your email and found lots and lots of reviews alerts waiting for you!

Thanks for the support and keep reading that I will keep posting!

And BTW I invited **V.R. Jennings**to send me facts about her favorites TV shows,

(Hey don't get jealous).

If you want you can send me any facts about our beloved character and I will post them happily! I'm actually thinking about a section made especially for reader's facts! So join me in this craziness and let's be crazy together!

(*can't laugh too hard coz of sore ribs*)

Till next time!


	6. JWF C6

So here I'm again!

John is a very good drill sergeant, he only made me work out from 5 in the morning till noon, and then I had all the time to write silly facts about him.

I'm so happy now that I have 2 chapters already done.

I can actually think about the fact that I need to get a life. Soon.

But I will worry about that later.

Here is another chapter! Hope you like these. My goal is to make 200 JWF!

I'm on my way! Hoping to get a little bit of help, suggestions…

To **LadyLinteweth****: **Thanks for the support!

And of course **Carlough****: **Here is another chapter! I'm hoping that you find this amuse! I think is really good to thank all the support that I'm getting, I tried to email back the reviewers one time and sometimes they didn't get my thanks… so this way everyone knows how thankful I am... it's really good to receive a review… the least I can do is thanks!

**Disclaimer:** Don't own them…Don't sue me!

* * *

JWF 97:

When he wants to hunt demons JW doesn't use Holly Water, he uses his own urine.

JWF 98:

One day John throw a cigarette still lighted into the sky. That way was born what today we called The Sun.

JWF 99:

The only time that John really cried was registered as _The Deluge._

_JWF 100: (makes a funky dance) Yataaaaaaa!_

Actually John Winchester only went to Hell, because if he hunted all demons on Earth Sam and Dean were going to be upset.

JWF 101:

JW is so awesome that there is a rifle with his name.

JWF 102:

John Winchester is the only human being capable of visualize an atom. – Nucleus, Neutrons and _Protons, all this_ with only one eye open.

JWF 103:

With his two eyes open he can see the Quarks and Leptons.

JWF 104:

This when he is distracted, when he is focused he can see everything and everyone, in any reality, world or place.

JWF 105:

John W. never ever loses his focus.

JWF 106:

John made The Basilica of Saint Peter with Lego.

JWF 107:

The Great Wall of China was known as the great tower of China till John kicked it.

JWF 108:

The Pisa Tower was bent when John used it as a support while he tied his shoes.

JWF 109:

John doesn't clone credit cards. He always uses the same one, but no one has the courage to refuse it.

JWF 110:

John made the website Facebook with a napkin and a Bic pen.

JWF 111:

The Christ the Redeemer (Portuguese: _O Cristo Redentor_) is a statue of Jesus Christ in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. The statue has it arms wide open waiting for John W's hug.

JWF 112:

John wasn't born he came in this world kicking some ass.

JWF 113:f

Darth Vader was John Winchester's housekeeper. He became the most famous villain in the world only because he was trying to copy his master, but you can't copy perfection.

JWF 114:

John takes snake venom in the morning to healthily begin the day.

JWF 115:

The Halliwell's sisters are so afraid that John thinks they are evil that they don't leave San Francisco City ever.

JWF 116:

The Lake Ness became John's trunk upholstery.

JWF 117:

Hitler didn't kill himself. He tried to kill a Jewish friend from JW's.

* * *

That's it for now!

Thanks for Reading!

=)

PS.: I know that is too much to ask, but I'll be truly happy if you guys check it out my other stories in this site!

I'm under another pen name, but I got Grey's Anatomy, How I Met Your Mother and Gossip Girl fan fictions! It will really mean something to me!!

The pen name is: **Cecily von Ziegesar**

Thanks again! Till next chapter!


	7. JWF C7

Hi…Sorry for the long gap between updates!

I had a few job interviews so I had to get away from the PC!!

To my faithful reviewers thanks…

**Wanabeanautha****:** I'm so sorry for my silly mistakes!

I tried to fix them…but sometimes my Portuguese just speaks louder than ever!

**V.R. Jennings****:** Thanks twice! And thanks for the PM I'm working on your Special Facts!

Maybe next Chapter I'll be able to post them!

**Carlough****: **I was so happy when I read your review... Smiles!!!! That's why I'm here for!

Hope you all enjoy this chapter I made Lots of Samuel Colt / The Colt Facts and a few for Sam and Dean!

Hope you liked it!

**Disclaimer:** Don't own them…Don't sue me! Forgive my mistakes they are entirely mine!

* * *

JWF 118:

John Winchester didn't have a Father or a Mother. He appeared spontaneously.

JWF 119:

Or maybe he was always around. (o.O)

JWF 120:

John only fears his own reflection in the mirror.

JWF 121:

John watched the last episode of Dungeons & Dragons. Don't doubt him.

JWF 122:

With a little bit of cough syrup and water John Winchester invented Coca-Cola.

JWF 123:

Samuel Colt created the Colt. John created the Winchesters.

JWF 124:

The Colt kills every supernatural thing, John Winchester too.

JWF 125:

Sam made Internet research to find information. John made his own information.

He is never wrong.

JWF 126:

Samuel C. had a great inspiration the created the Colt – a gun that could kill any evil thing in the world – John Winchester.

JWF 127:

Love disagreed with JW one time, since them Love is Blind.

JWF 128:

John went to Mars one time. There is no life there anymore.

JWF 129:

John used to give class to a certain boy called Albert in German, one day he thought the kid the most simple equation on the world – E = MC2. That kid became Einstein.

JFW 130:

The man didn't go to the moon; John brought her close to the Earth to a photo shooting.

JWF 131:

Before the Powers Rangers, Zordon was John Winchester's _Tamagotchi._

JWF 132:

John doesn't need the Colt. He is the Colt.

JWF 133:

John forced Lucifer to fight against God. After all, what he would do on Earth if there weren't any demons for him to hunt.

JWF 134:

Ruby is helping the Winchester's boys because John said that he was going to hunt her down in the Pit.

JWF 135:

JW only became pissed against women 2 times in his life. The first one was when Mary died. The second one was when his night stand ate that apple he told her not to.

JWF 136:

Freddy Krueger gave up killing humans when he started to have this dreams with little changelings singing: One, Two John is going to catch You… Three, Four, You better Run… Five, Six, Get You Crucifix…Seven, Eight, is better to stay awake. No Freddy is working as the Tooth fairy.

JWF 137:

In Silent Hill, the sky is only sunny and the city is only safe when John is there on vacations.

JWF 138:

John W. forgot his pet lizard when he was visiting a foreign country. The Japanese adopted it and called: Godzilla.

JWF 139:

John Winchester doesn't do prees ups. He pushes the floor with his arms.

JWF 140:

During a Work out Tournament a man lifted 400k, John arrived there lifted the man with the weight only with his nose.

* * *

That's it for now!

Merry Christmas for everybody!

Hope that Santa brings everything that you wish for!

I'm still waiting for my J&J sandwich!

=)


	8. JWF C8

I just wanna say how very sorry I am.

I'm so, so sorry for this huge gap. Hope everyone is having a great year so far.

Mine could be better…

I was in Dallas, TX doing a special training and I've started a new job! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaata!

So it was really hard to update or think about anything other than work for a little while, but I really love this fic... So here we go again for a new round of fun facts about our beloved Dad.

To the adorable people who read and reviewed my last chapter:

**Carlough**: I'm truly happy that I've made you laugh. Hope this new chap will do the same!

Thanks for you lovely review.

**cavetrollgrl****:** Thank you very much. A late Happy Holidays for you too. =D

Sorry for the long time it took me to update, hope you keep reading.

**V.R. Jennings****:** Thanks again. I love your reviews. Thanks for making time to read my story. Hope you like this new chapter. Hope you catch the movie – Veronica Decides to Die?

Is it any good? Didn't have time to watch it.

Thank you so much, I hope that you guys are still out there!

Oh God! Make Mr. Eric Kirpe hear my prayers and command John W. to rise from the dead land and live! I wanna see him again… But from now, here we go…

**Disclaimer:** Don't own them…Don't sue me! Forgive my mistakes they are entirely mine!

* * *

JWF 141:

Mio & Mayu Amakura (Fatal Frame II) had a special camera; they bought it from an antique store where John kept his old, used things.

JWF 142:

John W. made a bet with his friends. Who could come up with the best fire works ever, five seconds later there was a meteors rain in Small city in Kansas.

JWF 143:

John passed through Lost's Island, it was a quick trip, but by the time he was there he was the one controlling everything, but to succeed he disguised himself as Jacob, because if he had used his real name all the mystery would be solved in the blink of the eye.

JWF 144:

JW doesn't walk he moves the planet with his foot.

JWF 145:

Sauron got just one eye, because JW took the other one.

JWF 146:

Tolkien invented Gandalf after he met John.

JWF 147:

Voldemort doesn't have a nose because John W. ripped it.

JWF 148:

Charles Xavier tried to control John W's mind, that's why he is now bald and uses a wheel chair. – too much information for the poor little guy. -

JWF 149:

Everything that Locke knows he learned from JW, but John thinks he is a lousy student.

JWF 150:

Once someone tried to copy all the knowledge from JW's brain, that's how Internet was invented.

JWF 151:

Do you know why there aren't any more dragons in this world?

JW killed them all.

JWF 152:

Kyubi (Naruto's Demon) was hiding in the Village from John Winchester.

JWF 153:

John Winchester taught Slash how to play the guitar.

* * *

This wasn't my best work, but I'll hope that you all forgive once again my mistakes and my lack of creativity today.

That's it for now... I'm really ashamed for this poor update, but I've an amazing time thinking about this crazy stuff... So bear with me, okay?

Hope to update again soon…

**SPECIAL A/N To:** V.R. Jennings thanks for all the support and encouragement…

I'm trying my best, but it's really difficult to write about the shows you suggest, I've never watched them. I tried to watch them while I was in Dallas, but girl it was all about work…

I'll come up with something…

Till next time. Smile!

=)


	9. JWF C9

OMFG I can't believe how long has been since I posted something in here!

Sorry for the loooooooong delay…I had the worst author's block ever!

Thanks for everyone who supported this story…

And everyone who added this to his/hers Favorite, Authors Alert or Story Alert…

There is so many of you…I always thank the reviewers, but you guys rock as well!

Hope you guys find this chapter okay

And remember a review is the best thing to a girl who calls herself a writer…

So feed the Muse (*Puppy Dog Eyes*)

**Disclaimer:** Don't own them…Don't sue me! Forgive my mistakes they are entirely mine!

* * *

JWF 154:

Guns don't kill people. John Winchester kills people.

JWF 155:

J. Winchester does not sleep. He waits.

JWF 156:

JW is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

JWF 157:

J. Winchester isn't cool, cool models itself after John Winchester.

JWF 158:

John died ten years ago, but no Grim Reaper can get up the courage to tell him.

JWF 159:

John Winchester is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

JFW 160:

JW gave Mona Lisa that smile.

JWF 161:

J. Winchester once visited the Virgin Islands. Now they are just The Islands.

JWF 162:

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 % of germs. John can kill 100 % of germs whenever the f**k he wants.

JWF 163:

Superman wears John W. pajamas.

JWF 164:

J Winchester's watch has no numbers on it, it just says, "Time to Kick Ass."

JWF 165:

John W. once had a heart attack; his heart lost.

JWF 166:

When John Winchester exercises, the machine gets stronger.

JWF 167:

JW does not use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."

JWF 168:

When John Winchester enters a room, he doesn't turn the light on, he turns the dark off.

JWF 169:

When J. Winchester breaks the law, the law doesn't heal.

JWF 170:

John W. can tell John Locke what he can't do.

JWF 171:

The answer to every mystery on Lost is: John Winchester.

JWF 172:

JW created Hell. He's so hot he lit the place on fire.

JWF 173:

J. Winchester can kill two stones with one bird.

JWF 174:

John's hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

JWF 175:

John doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

JWF 176:

John Winchester does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.

JWF 177:

In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then John turned that wine into beer.

JWF 178:

J. Winchester doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.

JWF 179:

John Winchester once punched a man in the soul.

JWF 180:

John W. can find the needle in the haystack.

JWF 181:

Santa did in fact exist, but this was before he forgot a gift for JW's boys.

JWF 182:

When John Winchester runs with scissors, other people get hurt.

JWF 183:

It's no use crying over spilt milk, unless it's John Winchester's spilt milk because then you're gonna die.

JWF 184:

Similar to a Russian nesting doll, if you were to break John open, you would find another John Winchester, only smaller and angrier.

JWF 185:

When a tree falls in the forest, does anybody hear it?

Yes, John hears it. John Winchester hears everything.

* * *

That is for now… Forgive all my mistakes I'm sure you will find many!

If you like it … If you hated it … Please drop me a review…

You don't have any idea how awesome it is to read a feedback!

I'll really appreciate!


	10. JWF C10

I'm going to try and compensate my lack of updates…

Here's another chapter of the most irrelevant, but still funny facts about the Amazing Big J.

Hope you like it and review it!

**Time to Thanks:**

**freakaleek4jello****: **Glad you missed this, thanks for the support!

**cmunoz.22**: OMG. Don't have words to say how happy I am. I almost had a heart attack, my email was full!

Thanks for all your lovely reviews. It made me truly happy that I managed to make you laugh.

**Disclaimer:** Don't own them…Don't sue me! Forgive my mistakes they are entirely mine!

* * *

JWF 186:

If, by some, incredible space-time paradox John Winchester were to go back in time and fight himself, he would win. Period.

JWF 187:

Guns don't kill demons, J. Winchester kills demons. He uses a gun only distract them.

JWF 188:

JW smile once brought a puppy back to life.

JWF 189:

John Winchester doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

JWF 190:

John can divide by zero.

JWF 191:

When John Winchester falls in water, JW doesn't get wet. Water gets John Winchester.

JWF 192:

John W. doesn't wear a watch; HE decides what time it is.

JWF 193:

John Winchester can SPEAK Braille.

JWF 194:

JW can build a snowman out of rain.

JWF 195:

When John gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

JWF 196:

John Winchester was offered the role of Frodo in the Lord of the Rings. He declined, saying, "Only a pussy would need 3 movies to destroy a piece of jewelry."

JWF 197:

Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Sam Winchester's computer will crash, because he would have to deal with a very angry Dad.

JWF 198:

The only time JW was wrong was when he thought he made a mistake.

JWF 199:

The last digit of Pi is John Winchester.

JWF 200:

The immigrants come to America to see the Winchesters (They Are a Family Hot as Hell).

JWF 201:

John Winchester does not use spell-check, if he happens to misspell a word, dictionaries will simply change the actual spelling of it.

* * *

And that's it!

Is short I know, but I've made it!

200 JWF … I can't believe it, but is here!

Thanks for all the reviews … I have a couple of facts left… I tried to post them ASAP!


	11. More Facts Special Edition

Here I'm again! These are some of the facts that didn't make the 200, but I couldn't help and post them...

I don't think they are my best work, but John W. makes everything look so much better!

Love that guy!

Thanks for: **cmunoz.22 **and** .x - **For your kind reviews!

**Disclaimer:** Don't own them…Don't sue me! Forgive my mistakes they are entirely mine!

* * *

Supernatural Facts

J. Winchester is the reason the dead come back to life.

If you have a child that is missing, call John, he will look so hard he will find that kid in a second.

John Winchester can mix oil and vinegar, permanently.

JW can hear silence.

John played Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun, and won.

There is not theory of evolution, just a list of animals John Winchester allows to live.

John Winchester has two speeds: Walk and Kill.

John Winchester doesn't go hunting, John Winchester goes killing.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects John could use to kill you, including the room itself.

If you can see John Winchester, he can see you. If you can't see John Winchester, it's already too late.

John Winchester once shot down a German plane by pointing his finger and yelling "bang."

When the Bogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for John Winchester.

There is no such thing as global warming. John Winchester was cold, so he turned the Sun up.

John W. can drown a fish.

Ghosts are actually caused by John Winchester killing faster than death can process.

It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. John Winchester can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.

John sold his soul to the Demon for his rugged good looks and unparalleled hunting ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, John punched the Demon in the face and took his soul back. The Demon, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken, but John Winchester says its beef, then it's f**king beef!

John Winchesters calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, because no one fools John Winchester.

A man once asked John if his real name was Jonathan. John Winchester did not answer him; he simply stared at him until his head exploded.

A snake once bit J. Winchester in the leg. After 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake died.

A unicorn once kicked John Winchester. That is why they no longer exist.

JW does not play "hide and seek." He plays, "hide and pray I don't find you."

When John Winchester answers the phone, he says "Go." This is not permission for you to start speaking; it is your cue to start running for your life.

On Neil Armstrong's second step on the moon, he found a note that said, "John Winchester was here."

When you are sick, call John, he will MAKE the sickness go away.

John Winchester owns his own private estate. We know it as the Bermuda Triangle. John Winchester does not tolerate trespassers.

John Winchester can kick-start a car.

When John was born, the only one who cried was the doctor. Never slap John Winchester.

John Winchester grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with rage.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with the Winchesters.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Winchestership.

When an episode of Supernatural aired in France, the French surrendered to the Winchesters just to be on the safe side.

There are no weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq, the Winchesters live in Kansas.

Every two seconds someone in the United States needs blood, all of it due to the Winchesters.

If you want a list of the Winchesters enemies, just check the extinct species list.

Demons want to grow up to be just like the Winchesters; instead they grow up just to be killed by the Winchesters.

One of the Winchesters took my virginity, and one of them will take yours too. If you're saying, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity," then you are dead wrong.

There is a something that is perfect. The Winchesters are perfect.

The Winchesters are so hot; they are the cause of global warming.


	12. JW Facts Special Edition Part II

Season 5 is on hiatus and I am bored! I want some Winchester Action!!

So I tried to do a little bit more about SN Facts and John Winchester, is just a few because life is pretty busy those days!

Merry Xmas to everybody and a New Year full of Hope and Joy!

And J2 and lots of Supernatural…

After all this could be the last season, although I don't believe so!

* * *

**JW FACTS**

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a Supernatural marathon on Satellite TV

Crop circles are John Winchesters way of telling the world that sometimes corn just needs to lie the F… down.

J. Winchester was offered the role of Frodo in the Lord of the Rings. He declined, saying, "Only a pussy would need 3 movies to destroy a piece of jewelry."

John was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

Apple pays John W. 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

If you have 5 dollars, and John has 5 dollars, John Winchester has more money than you.

J. Winchester can sneeze with his eyes open.

JW destroyed the periodic table of elements. He only acknowledges the element of surprise.

John Winchester once ate an entire cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

John W. has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

When John Winchester dials a 1-900 number, he doesn't get charged. He just holds the phone upside down and money comes out.

J. Winchester always knows the EXACT location of Carmen San Diego.

John W. can win a staring contest with a picture.

JW once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.

John Winchester can delete the Recycling Bin.

And now I wanna share a little something that's being playing on my mind lately…

In my book if Sam is Lucifer's vessel – the younger brother, the one who fought his beloved father and raise chaos in heaven and Dean is Michael's - the good soldier, the one with the blind faith are a metaphor to the Winchester family, then John Winchester is left to be GOD - the absent father that always had something on his sleeve.

Don't mean to offend anyone, but…Thoughts?


End file.
